Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Way too soon

Well I am sorry to inform you that I am back.    Just one day after my first blog I have returned, I failed my cause, I messed up, I masturbated.   I know this feeling of defeat all too well, every time I close my eyes, images of naked women, the helplessness to make them go away, and the feeling of being lost.   The worst part is, is that looking back, I can see all of my mistakes that lead me down the wrong path, I can see how the little decisions I made lead me to corruption, and I can see how I am poisoning myself and my future.  

I ordered two devotionals for men last week and I am happy that they are here.   I plan on doing one during the morning, and the other in the afternoon in an attempt to keep my focused on our Lord.   The only positive I can take from today is the hope that my failing was a result of Satan trying to make me turn away from the right path.   I hope that me doing this blog, and me doing these studies is a way to progress in helping me fight this addiction and rid me of this torture.   I am sorry for keeping this short, but I have a big test tomorrow and I havent studied at all.   Thank you very much for your prayers and keep thinking of me.   I hope to not see you again for a while.

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