I confess that I have not been faithful to this writing endeavor. I have fallen technically twice, but more like 4 times to my addiction since last writing on this blog. By technically I mean that I have watched porn, but the Lord saved me before I was able to masturbate. I Have tried those techniques that I had thought of with success, the only problem is leaving the room and escaping the source of my temptation after initially putting down my urge. Both today and yesterday I have fallen into porn. The worst part about it is everytime I begin to get sucked in, I hear the still small voice offering me the chance to escape the snares of the evil one. Almost every time my spirit rolls over and allows my flesh to drown out the voice with the sound of debauchery and lust.
Lord I am so sorry that I am flawed. I know as humans I cannot be perfect, but I wish so much that I could be. Even with that sentence I fail you. My spirit yearns to be whole and blameless but my flesh laughs at you and craves the goods of the world. I love you Lord and know that I have a long way to go in my journey, and I need patience. Please Lord forgive me for my sins, grant me the strength and patience to endure and persevere, and please Lord do not give up on me, for I know that I will fall again. I love you Lord and pray for your forgiveness because I am so sorry and do not want to run from You anymore. I pray that I will make You smile upon me tomorrow Lord and defeat the evil one. Please Lord give me the strength to make tomorrow a turning point in my battle against addiction, and help me find my way back to You. Amen
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